Truthfully, I have missed my life here. Hysterically, things have been typically weird because I go out there and discover a world I can see in a new light.
You know when you look out there and you discover things don’t quite match up to the way you had presumed they were? The obviousness of it all puts your Sanity and all its essence to shame!
I’m sitting before the screen now and I think, “Whoever has it all together? Whoever can have it together?” We only have our own quota to invest and leave every thing else to play out.
I started a series earlier and I had such big plans for it. Then I fizzle out just because I’m too lazy to sit down and write? Or is it because the gadgets I depended on went all “wrecked” at the same time?
Oh for the love of Integrity and equity!
Is there ever an excuse that sits right with the repercussions?
We have a responsibility to our own selves and others! We can’t keep shedding so many weights around and not attempt to lift anything.
I posted a picture on facebook and had started yet another 20 days series I called “Ageless God”. It had meant to be a poetic explosion! Continuity had been de riguer!
After some 4 days of inexcusable discontinuity I finally posted. Someone commented and said, “Finally, you unleash Day 6 (the next day I was supposed to have posted five days earlier), I waited endlessly for it”
Something hit me!
How many persons have I let down in such a way? How many have waited for me to just do it, consistently? How many had been disappointed because I stopped half way?
We always have everything else to blame for our “not doing it”.
- We blame the Sun for not going out,
“Oh it rained all day today. I couldn’t go out to finish what i had intended to do”
- We cast stones at people,
“He/she doesn’t just like me. I can’t function properly because he’s there to always soil everything”
- We blame the country,
“Everything has gone so crazy out there. No one does anything right anymore. Can you believe it? We are at a 29% inflation? How can anyone ever make profit”
- We castigate even ourselves,
“I’m not good enough! Someone else is better! I can’t just do it right.”
I will buttress on this because I was once in this pit too! I can’t make awesome music videos, though I write songs and terribly love to sing; because someone out there does a better job at it. Yet people a little bit less better off make the audience stop to listen! The more I think about it, that was so egocentric and uptight of me! All simply nonsense!
I also don’t write books even though the idea keeps pouring out because I think, “What’s good about what i have to offer anyways?” That’s selfish of me! Someone out there yearns for the good my not-so-experienced lively and poetic hands have to offer.
- Finally, we blame God! He sits up there just watching us mess things up as He puts opportunities right before our faces every single day.
I’m sick and tired of myself doing the same things every single day without results!
I want to “right” things out!
I want to see the world through my own eyes from now.
I want to take the responsibility; not just imagine it is what I presume will happen that materializes! I want to plant beans and agree with the fact that I’ll definitely harvest beans, not anymore expecting to reap Apples.
The world is waiting! Someone out there is in dire need of my “waking up”
He looks through the window everyday, hoping to espy my raised banner and I’ve failed him every single time!
I hope and know I’m not too late.
For you who have waited. For me who has waited unconsciously for this launch, I apologise in dripping tears.
I did not post this to make a stir. It was meant for that special person who has waited earnestly for the “world through my eyes”